The ugly truth of being a writer
Author interview series
Hi all, and welcome back to rumblewrites. This is the second instalment in my Author Interview series, and this time we’re focusing on the uglier aspects of being an author, from self-doubt and burnout to financial stress and self-promotion.
The next article in this series will be out on the 11th November. Subscribe so you don’t miss it!
Self-doubt
“Will we be accepted? Are we good enough? What will others say or think about what we've shared?” - Jennifer
“It doesn't matter if your last book got glowing reviews, there's always that little voice on your shoulder when you start to write anything new that whispers 'what if this one flops?'" - Beverley
I already feel this every time I post a newsletter on here. So I can’t imagine how daunting it is to put an entire book out. Like Beverley says, even if you have your friends, family, beta readers, editors, agent and publisher behind you, there’s still that nagging question of whether it’s enough. Whether we’re enough.
The desire to keep pushing, keep improving and keep changing can be a drive for good. It helps us craft sleeker stories and better worlds. But there’s a point at which it needs to stop. For me, that time comes before the burn out, and before the promotion. It’s important that you’re confident enough in your own work to sell it to others, and faking this confidence not only robs you of well-earned success. Whether that be in numbers, or in self-gratification.
Burn out
“What’s hard is giving myself enough room, rest, and recovery time in the whole of my life." - Sara
We want to push ourselves to be greater, to produce more work, to engage with a bigger community. For most of us, writing is a hobby, so it’s easy to forget that it can still cause burnout. This becomes especially problematic when it starts to interfere with different parts of your life.
"I try to steer clear of that “grind” mindset, because in my head, it contradicts the very heart of writing/art."- Marble
For some of us, this is easy to turn off. As Marble says, for her the “grindset” stand in direct conflict with the creative process. But for others, this is harder to control:
"with ADHD, there are always ingrained voices saying ‘you’re being lazy, you should be doing something.’ It’s especially easy for neurodivergent people to burn out, because we’ve been conditioned to hyper-perform and mask for acceptance." - Nicole
As Nicole points out, neurodivergent people often struggle with this more due to a desire to meet performance-related expectations, and a general lack of support. Social media is awash with success stories and celebrations that can lead us to believe we’re falling behind. On top of this, quantifiable trends like the Goodreads Reading Challenge and NaNoWriMo create social pressure to join us. It’s hard not to compare ourselves to our writing peers online, but please remember: what is sustainable for one person is not for another.
Money
"The issue of money is a thorny one , especially when related to creativity. Personally, I won’t submit anywhere with a fee." - Donna
"the lack of investment in culture which makes grants unattainable due to the fierce competition, the idea that you should be happy to work for free" - Lisa
The tendency to burn out is exacerbated by the glistening mirage of a monetary reward which we’re often told sits at the end of this long and gruelling process. We think, quite naturally, that the harder we work, we faster we will achieve this reward.
But this is hugely problematic. As Donna mentions, some literary journals and competitions require a fee to submit. While I agree that everyone deserves to be paid for their work, and that includes staff readers at these journals, I also don’t think writers should have to pay for the chance to be a part of something. I don’t so much mind buying my own copy of a magazine I’m actually in - I’m able to, and it feels like a way of giving back to the journal and keeping them running. But this model is still the opposite of how every other job works. Imagine going into your office job and paying your manager to watch you code for 8 hours a day. Insanity.
The problem here is the lack of public awareness about creative jobs. This is partially caused by the chronic lack of funding (which I’m hoping will slightly improve for the UK in the coming years), as well as a general lack of understanding about what it takes to be a writer. The myth that creative jobs are easy is pervasive, and it allows companies operating within the creative sphere to take advantage of writers, or else suffer alongside us.
The end result is the worsening of pre-existing social inequities. A 2022 survey of 2759 UK authors by The Authors’ Licensing & Collecting Society (ALCS) showed that men typically earn 41% more than women, while white writers earn 51% more than non-white writers. Both figures are up from the last time the survey was conducted, and the time before that, and the time before that, and… you get the point.
The problem is getting worse. The ALCS survey also placed the median earnings from writing at a measly £7,000, down from £11,329 (in real terms) in 2018. A report by the UK government in 2021 valued its creative industry at £108bn. But these riches are not felt by many of the writers within in.
"Self-publishing can be up and down in terms of wages but because I had a backlist, I’ve done well. If you keep at it, it can be extremely lucrative." - Karin
But it isn’t all doom and gloom. Writers can and do make a liveable wage from their writing, and Karin shows us that there is hope here. In self-publishing no less, a route than is sometimes sneered at by pursuers of traditional publishing.
I know this is a bit of a downer article, but I think it’s important to show that we aren’t alone in our struggles. It’s ok to feel down, because writing is not a fair industry. It takes and it takes, and only sometimes does it give back. And only when you work really hard for it. But this doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going to fail - look at the writers I’ve interviewed here, and all the success they’ve had!
Talking to these authors about the worst parts of being a writer has shown me how important it is to enjoy the process of writing, and to celebrate every success, no matter how small it may seem at the time. Don’t go into it expecting riches and wealth, but by the same token, don’t let the set-backs get you down. Writing isn’t a fair game, and it takes a special kind of person to stick with it. As Karin says: perseverance is the key to success.
This week’s question for the comments: how do you deal with the “uglier” parts of the writing process?
Contributing authors
I am indebted to the following wonderful people who have contributed their time, wisdom and hearts to this series. They are:
Donna Faulkner
Donna (she/her) spent her childhood between countries. One foot bare and carefree in New Zealand, the other tiptoeing the coal dust and camaraderie of working class England. She lives in Rangiora, New Zealand but likes to roam.
She has been published in various lit mags, and her poetry book In Silver Majesty is forthcoming with erbacce press.
Insta @lady_lilth_poet, X @nee_miller, Linktr.ee
Jennifer Martain
Jennifer (she/her) a 52-year-old author from coastal North Carolina. Her favorite hobby is researching and exploring connections between disparate "truths" in order to foster creative empathy—and add new tinfoil hats to her collection.
Her books Daughters of Men (2019), My Alien Life (2022), and Forgetting the Lost (2023) can be purchased on her website. She is currently serialising her latest book Like Moonlight on Water on Substack!
Insta @jmartainauthor, X @JenniferMartain, Facebook authorJMartain
Nicole Eigener
Nicole (she/they/iel) is an author living in the sun-kissed desert of Southern California, but they prefer clouds and rain. They have been working as a professional graphic designer for over 30 years, but in their spare time, Nicole enjoys wine, bubble baths, and Skyping with writing-partner Beverley.
She has 2 published novels: Beguiled by Night and its sequel, Citizens of Shadow, which you can purchase from their website.
Insta @beguiledbynight
Beverley Lee
Beverley (she/her) is a writer who lives close to the dreaming spires of Oxford, in the UK. Her books include the vampire suspense trilogy The Making of Gabriel Davenport, A Shining in the Shadows, and The Purity of Crimson, as well as The Ruin of Delicate Things, The House of Little Bones, and The Sum of Your Flesh.
In collaboration with Nicole, she has written Crimson is the Night, and is currently working on the A Conclave of Crimson triology. All can be found on Beverley’s website.
Insta @theconstantvoice
Joint with Nicole: Insta @nicoverleybooks, Pinterest
Karin Gillespie
Karin (she/her) is the author of 9 novels, both traditional and self-published. She holds an MFA in Creative Writing and has been writing for 30 years, primarily in the genre of women’s fiction. She is currently living in beautiful Savannah Georgia.
Facebook @karingillespieauthor, Linktr.ee
Lisa Fransson
Lisa (she/her) is an author and technical translator from the south coast of England. She writes for children in her native Swedish and literary fiction for adults in her adopted English.
The Shape of Guilt was published by epoque press in 2023. Her children’s books in Swedish are: Eben von Ruben och husbarnet, Tegelstenen, Hängeken, Strandglas, Beckmörkret, and Älgpappan.
Marble Black
Marble (she/they) is a 26-year-old writer residing in Oklahoma. They write literary fiction and contemporary romance and are in the process of querying for her first novel. She also runs a magazine called ‘The Groke’, which focuses on the art of decay.
Sara Read
Sara (she/hän) is a 54-year-old writer of contemporary realistic fiction, and is moving into magical realism. For a long time, she worked as a nurse with writing as her side hustle. Now writing is her job, and being an oncology nurse is her side hustle.
She has 2 novels traditionally published on Graydon House: Johanna Porter is Not Sorry (2023), and Principles of (E)motion (2024). Both can be found on her website.
Insta @sarareadauthor
I feel seen! Thanks for this honest take.
The money thing is huge, and I think there’s another aspect to abundance that matters a lot too—time and energy. I am lucky enough to write for a living as a journalist and content creator for a number of both public and for-profit organizations. And for me, the fact that I write for a living, and often write things that I’m not terribly interested in and that don’t feature my own voice, leaves me with little time and energy to do the life-giving kind of writing like that which happens on Substack. Add to that the caregiving activities of single motherhood, and the task feels all but impossible sometimes. I have thought many times about doing something else for a living so that I can reclaim writing for my soul, but for now, I’m relaxing into the idea that my work will take different forms during different seasons.
Mary Somerville’s writing career really didn’t take off until her kids were grown. I wonder how many other women that’s true for.
"I also don’t think writers should have to pay for the chance to be a part of something." I whole-heartedly agree. I'm trying to get an anthology off the ground without fees for submissions, and shout from the rooftops when I see magazines offer something similar.
Thank you for sharing.